A list of things that have collectively saved my life

Kate DeHaan

July 6, 2021

Buba. My blue lion, my little man.
My fish–even the ones that disappear.
Deciding to kiss my then friend because I knew I had feelings without knowing what they were.
Finding out under the stars that I loved him very much.
Sitting at the lakes edge and understanding that the same water runs in me.
Playing Pokémon Go and now Animal Crossing.
Reading books again.
Reading graphic novels again.
Reading manga for the first time.
My weekly (ish) phone calls to my old roommate Gail.
Getting to see this friend again and remembering how simple and deep our connection is.
My childhood therapist.
My new Therapist at the YWCA.
Learning martial arts at Chan’s Kung Fu School. First Tai Chi because it’s the closest I can be to a water-bender in this world. But it grew from that, through my bones, and into my mind. Then I learned Jow Ga so I could punch people.
A psychiatrist who fixed my meds.
My dad who blows up fireworks with a crazy look on his face.
My mom who always asks if I want to snuggle even though the answer is mostly no.
My sister who wants a capsule closet but still loves me for my maximalism.
My whole family who has supported me without even knowing everything I’ve been through.
Writing lists and poems and books and everything in between.

Losing Kate